new year

When all three hands of my watch met at 12, amidst the shrieks of exploding gunpowder outside, I never felt the heart-pounding rush and thrill of a runner when he hears the pistol shot. I felt nothing, just nothing.

Maybe staring up and looking at the fireworks for too long grinded my brain's cogs to a halt -- as they usually and unexpectedly do. Or maybe they didn't -- maybe I was just asking myself, "What rhymes with 'dark'?" too hard I forgot that 2005 had passed me by in a flick of a finger.

Anyway. I dragged my mouse onto the taskbar clock a few minutes ago, the date popped up in a small yellow box, "January 1, 2006." New Year na nga talaga. A whole year lies ahead of me, like an acromantula wedged between tall green maze walls. Unlike Harry, I am wandless and sightless. I cannot see through the thick and impenetrable mist of time that veils the challenges I am about face. Nor can I overcome them, as I have nothing in myself, no weapon to wield, no strength to muster, no guts to work up.

But now I remember Him, how faithful and patient He had been with my stubbornness and sinful desires. I remember Him, how He was condemned for my sins, whipped, bloody and mangled, and nailed to a tree like a common criminal.

Oh, that I may delight in Him and long for Him, for His glory, and not the fleeting pleasures of this world,

that I may be soaked in His Word, in His promises, and that I learn to trust Him completely,

that I may silently sing "Whatever may come... it is well, it is well with my soul" when hard times come and mean it,

that I may faithfully share the Gospel to the people I meet, and be a mirror of His perfections to others who are in darkness,

that I may never boast in anything, except in the cross of Jesus Christ, my Savior, and that He, My God, be glorified and magnified in all I am!