Thursday, March 30, 2006

praise from the mouth of a backslider



It has been more than two weeks (16 days, to be exact) since my last update. And to my visitors' disappointment (and mine too), they've been seeing nothing but an ancient post on a moth-eaten blog – and also, a picture of me wearing a sickeningly wide-mouthed smile, which I've been wanting to replace since last December.

I've been through so much these past days. I fell two Sundays ago, and I fell hard. My sin ravaged my soul to pieces, and kept me from my daily meditations on His Word. Until now, I'm still reeling from the after-effects of toying with the enemy's fiery darts. "For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing." (Rom 7:19)

While His sheep grazed in the verdant pastures where the Sheperd led them, I chose to wander into a barren wasteland. The cataracts of my sin blocked my eyes, and I lost sight of Him. And instead of seeking what is infinitely desirable, I settled for what is empty. And ephemeral. But, by "the richness of His kindness and forbeareance," (Rom 2:4) He did not let me go that easily. How painful, but so very precious, is His chastisement!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

...?

~razeru (^_)

razel said...

thanks for your honesty, Jef.

~razeru ,(^_)

Anonymous said...

you're welcome, razeru. =D I really like your poems, btw.

Anonymous said...

thank you for your very inspiring words... they are indeed an encouragement to others... may God continue to bless you and make you a blessing to others. KOKO!

Anonymous said...

thank you, anonymous. (ikaw ba yan, Paul V.?)

All I can say is, praise God for His grace and mercy. =D

Anonymous said...

hi jef!
vlad po i2... Keep On Keeping On (KOKO!).

Yes, God is definitely worthy of praise for His unending grace and unfathomable mercy. The journey of the struggling christian is really the story of the once-sinner being sanctified and hence, it is really the story of God's grace at work.

Anonymous said...

Sir Vlaaaad! ngayon ko lang napansin na nagcomment pala kayo. Hehe.

Thanks po..

True.. Even though we get so stubborn and hardened during times of distress, He still chooses to love us. Despite our desperately wicked hearts, He still promises to heal our faithlessness and lavish us with the most precious and most lasting gift of all: Himself.

God is so good talaga.. :-)