of green cards and Mt. Everest

This morning I woke up to the sound of my father bellowing in his usual on-full-volume voice at his cellphone.

"Totoo? June 2005 na yung pinaprocess? Sige, thanks, thanks..."

One of his friends had called and told him that the USCIS just updated the visa bulletin for employee-based immigrant applicants. I'll spare you the drudgery of trying to understand immigration terms, but it all boils down to this: there's a very good chance that before school starts this fall my family and I will be granted permanent residency -- those highly coveted green cards that would grant us Social Security numbers and qualify us for federal and state financial aid and permit us to be gainfully employed.

Doubtful of hearsay as I often am, I discreetly sat down in front of the computer as my father and brother were leaving for school and checked the website for myself. And on the screen was displayed the small white table containing the priority dates.

It was true indeed.

Strangely enough, I didn't suddenly erupt with eager excitement. Two years before, the prospect of being able to work for myself and not depending on my parents for income would have left me giddy, nervous and elated at the same time. It's not that I, being a mature 19-year old, now take lightly the possibility of me receiving a fat monthly paycheck. Nor because I've latched my sights tight on the City of God that I've ceased to care for my family's immigration issues, or anything worldly, for that matter. No.

It was just probably a good dose of His medicine the night before that restrained me from being my usual self.

Last night I crossed off Luke 12 on my daily Bible reading plan and read the whole chapter. Though the words of King Jesus barely stood out on the faded pages of my Aunt's NASB, they seared my heart with such sweet delight that lifted me, albeit temporarily, from the cares of this world.

In Luke's version of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tries to quiet the anxious hearts of his listeners (including mine):

Fear not, little flock; it is the Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom. Luke 12.32

Now I clearly remember encountering this verse in dear Pastor Piper's book, the Pleasures of God, and verbalizing my thoughts about it in this blog some time ago, but it wasn't until last night that the true meaning of His words dawned on me with such full-force again. I guess this particular verse must have been buried under an enormous dune of medical terms in the desert of my mind. But praise God for blowing the sand all away!

That God will do me good by granting me His kingdom is a magnificent revelation in itself. But that He would actually enjoy and take delight in adopting me as His son, unworthy wretch as I am, was just so great a thought that it dwarfed and overshadowed all worldly thoughts that were clinging to my mind then -- it was like placing Mount Everest and a molehill side by side. There simply wasn't any comparison.

And so when I woke up this morning I was still overcome with so much awe and gratitude and wonder at His abundant grace that the news of being one step closer to receiving my green card didn't tick my heart's ticker as fast as it did before.

But as the hours of today plodded by, the vision faded. All that's left in me, once again, are faint reverberations of the glorious thought. Which is why, dear reader, we need to graze on the pastures of His Word as often as we can and feed our souls with His promises.