taxing

The first few days of my foray into the nursing program has left me breathless.

I didn't expect our classwork to be this taxing. Eleven credit hours, I thought, was loads lighter than the seventeen I had last semester. I was so confident of breezing through my classes and was even disappointed by how "light" the load on my back was. So I registered for Introduction to Literature at Weslaco a few days before the semester started.

I was wrong. I don't regret taking Lit -- I'm enjoying it immensely, in fact -- but yes, I should have heeded my father's warnings that I will be doing so much back brain-breaking work once I get into the program.

Every week is a non-stop flurry of hundred-page readings, short quizzes, and practical tests on nursing skills, i.e., bed making, vital signs, physical assessment and so on. On top of that are two short stories for my Literature class that I have to read closely and annotate so I don't get C's on the quizzes. And they say it's more than twice as hard in the following semesters.

One drowsy morning, I stared at myself in the bathroom with wrinkled brows and wondered: with all this activity, would I still be able to reserve half an hour of quiet every morning so I could sit by my frayed but trusty Bible and listen to what He has to teach me?

I waited for an answer. (from myself? from God? I don't know, but I just stood there in hopeful silence for a reply) None. So I left our house that morning with nary a look at Matthew nor Genesis.

Two weeks passed. No quiet time, no praying, no Godward thoughts, nothing.

And so here I am now, drained and wasted like a chewed up piece of sugar cane.

So what's the point of all this ranting? Don't make the same mistake that I did, dear reader. The Bible is our life. Do not take it for granted. Shunning and treating it as if it were a useless burden on your back is dumber than jumping out of a plane without a parachute.

Search yourself. Is your deepest heart-cry the same as the psalmist's: "Whom have I in heaven but You? Besides You I have nothing in this earth. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Ps 73:24-26

If not, ask Him for forgiveness. Repent. Look at your cold indifference towards God long and hard enough until you truly feel the gravity of your sin against Him. And believe, believe in Him, that through His death on the cross your sins are cast into the depths of the sea.

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be a light to me.

I will bear the indignation of the Lord
because I have sinned against him,
until he pleads my cause
and executes judgment for me.

He will bring me out to the light;
I shall look upon his vindication.